There is a deleted thread on reddit NVC group where a woman was relating her problem. She was living with a boyfriend who was paying child support and not paying half the rent with her and not doing dishes, etc.
Some of the redditors gave her direct feedback instead of the tongue-in-cheek NVC speak… it was hilarious:
I’m 22 and i have never been late to rent in my life, and the fact that when you bring it up he thinks you are “nagging” is extremely rude and shows that he knows what he is doing and being deliberate about making you feel bad for his lack of responsibility.
You cook 95% and do all that extra labor while still splitting bills (and i assume pleasing him in the bedroom as well) and he doesn’t even wash dishes????? You are being taken advantage of please, no man at that big age that has love and respect for you would treat you in that manner.
It sounds like you make his life easier and are just a convenience to him, while he makes your life harder, a man that loves you will find solutions to your problems not cause them.
Instead of looking for how to communicate better, leave, he clearly does not value you and you should only date people that see your worth and appreciate it, women are often told that if they had just communicated they can fix a relationship but you can only communicate with someone who is open to listening to you, he is not ready to listen rather he shames you for having needs.
OP you are in your 30’s, there’s better people out there who will love and appreciate you, you are indirectly enabling his behavior by continuing to do things for him instead of leaving, if he never changes can you imagine your life being like this for the rest of your life? Plus imagine if you accidentally get pregnant, does he seem like someone that will help you out? Sometimes we must love ourself more than we love anyone .
classyandfeminine
this one took the cake:
He helps? Is the house work his work too? He’s not pulling his own weight. He isn’t helping with your work, he’s doing a small part of his own work, and you are picking up all the slack. Whatever you do, don’t let him baby trap you. He sounds like a hobosexual and he’s got himself a bang maid.
evetrapeze