My first NVC Course had “thought” as a component of the formula

The course was offered by Gail McManus. During the course one participant said “it’s hard to move forward when you are blocked” and her response was: “when you THINK you are blocked how do you FEEL”? In the typical NVC formula we would’ve focused on his unmet needs and his feelings but never had any analysis of his thought: “I’m guessing that you are feeling frustrated because your needs for progress are not being met?”

My 2nd course in NVC did not mention thought

i took Thom Bond’s year long training in NVC and thought was not part of the NVC formula; only observations, feeling, needs and requests.

Raw Thought can be triggering

If the goal of a conflict is to resolve, it is probably best to not tell the other party what you are thinking. Sure, each person is ultimately responsible for their reactions, but everyone is not ready for that. For instance in a recent conflict, a lady said to another person: “I require an explanation of your comment because it does not sit well with me”… and of course the other person might be THINKING “who the heck are you to require something of me” but if they only communicate: “I FEEL outraged when I hear you say you require something because it stifles my NEED for autonomy” then there is a possibility of being honest about being pissed off without escalating the conflict.

While such raw thought might be acceptable in a discipline like Radical Honesty, it isnt in NVC.

is this where “observation” comes in?

Observation is raw perception before self-centered ego-driven “raw thought” such as the pissed-off statement above (who the heck are you to require something of me).

Imago Therapy focuses on thought and feeling and does not dig for unmet needs

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