Yesterday morning, my roommate was upset because I leave food out and it attracts roaches. As we discussed the issue, she raised her voice, interrupted me and spilled her food she was cooking. She blamed the spilled food on my leaving dishes in the sink for roaches.
I told her that she was interrupting and raising her voice – I was only 1 foot from her, yet her speech could be heard 20 feet away. Was this mistake number 1 – expecting her to engage in calm perfect behavior when her needs werent met. I spoke to her saying “you’re interrupting… you are speaking quite loudly” … nothing I said led to her being more quiet or to quit interrupting me.
She was so flustered that she spilled her cooked meal in the sink. At this point, she blamed me for her spilling her breakfast. I did not touch her in any way. At this point, I may have made mistake number 2: “I told her that she was using victim philosophy and seeking a scapegoat instead of taking full responsibility for her mistake”
When she continued to blame me for the fact that she had spilled her breakfast, I said: “you need to part ways with this place. you obviously are not comfortable here.” This may have been mistake number. 3.
Reflecting on the mistakes
I do yoga and live a healthy vegetarian lifestyle. But, I would say that there is a bit of elitism in my lifestyle and worldview. I often wonder why the people around me are not perfect in terms of health and social interaction. But I’m also aware that holding expectations of others is getting in my way of seeing them as life energy with needs and wants just like me.