Baroness Walensky uses her unilateral legislative powers to Make the NFL Safe Again

In her ongoing efforts to stop the spread of common sense, Global Tyrant-in-Training Rochelle Walensky came down from on-high to enforce new measures on the National Football League:

“We don’t play favorites” said self-appointed-commander-in-chief-forever Rochelle Walensky. “What the $cience says is what we enforce until better $$$cience comes along”. And so, even though face masks were formally a 15-yard penalty in football, they are now required.

It was the darkest Sunday in American Football History

Odell Beckham, Jr was well on his way to completing another one of his spectacular one-arm aerial grabs. it was at this point that the free safety reached for his face mask and cranked his head violently to the left, snapping 3 cervical vertebrae and putting Beckham out for the season. When reached for comment, the free safety said: “hey, mane, look: Walensky done said FACE MASKS ARE REQUIRED… aight???!!! dont be asking me no questions. Follow the $cience fool!”

First the vax, now the mask.

Even though prior vaccines were removed from the market after killing 50 people, the covid-19 “vaccines” remain on the market after deep-sixing over 20,000 people…. “how much cash could a woodcock clock if a Woodcock could clock bucks?” crowed Janet Woodcock of the FDA. ‘At the FDA we follow the 2.8 million dollar drug license fee $science’. We are arm-in-arm with the CDC in en$uring the $safety of our $uckers citizens.

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